Flower Power Page 12

  “Plus I’ve got maybe half that in retirement accounts,” Taryn went on. “I’ve got a good nest egg of cash. My house is probably worth about half a million on the market today, and I’ve almost paid it off. I’ve got some company private stock that entitles me to dividends. I mean, when I look at all this stuff, I just can’t possibly see how trying to accumulate more isn’t straight up gluttony.”

  “Oh wow,” said Alex. “That’s amazing, Taryn. You’re only thirty-seven and you have all that?”

  “Yeah, but I paid a price,” said Taryn. “You saw how it broke me. I’m only now figuring out how to pick up the pieces.”

  “I definitely feel you,” said Alex. “If you want a broke chick’s opinion, yeah, you have more than enough. I couldn’t see myself ever spending that much money throughout the rest of my life.”

  “See, the old me… she could,” said Taryn. “Most definitely. New cars, big trips, upgraded homes, investment properties, more and more. Before coming out here and living with you guys, I never would have thought what I currently had would be enough to see me through. But now I see how crazy that is. I don’t know how I got stuck in that frame of mind. It feels so toxic now.”

  “I’m happy for you that you can see that,” said Alex. “That you’ve come to that conclusion.”

  “When the shipping container was delivered the other day,” Taryn continued. “Dev told me that—all in—that thing is only going to cost like seven thousand dollars to buy and build out. I pay that in like two months on my mortgage. When I think about things like this, it’s like… why am I allowing myself to get so worried and anxious and hate myself over it all. It makes me feel like I’m going insane.”

  “You’re going to be okay,” Alex said, pushing a deep kiss into Taryn’s lips. “Really, babe. I know you’re going to be just fine. You’ve come so far in finding your happiness in this short amount of time. You’ve got so much greatness in front of you.”

  “Thank you,” said Taryn, returning Alex’s kiss. “I appreciate that. I still need to figure out what’s next for me. I told my boss that I would be into work next Monday. It puts a knot in my stomach saying that out loud. But, I’m going to go. I have to. I have to figure out how I feel.”

  “Does that mean you’re going to leave the farm soon?” Alex asked with a tone of sadness.

  “This weekend I’m going to go back home,” said Taryn. “I’m going to take stock of my life and reflect on what I’ve done. It’s scary, but I have to do it.”

  “If you want me to come with you,” said Alex. “I will.”

  “Come home with me?”

  “Yeah,” Alex confirmed. “I’ll come with you for a couple of days. I can get Astrid to make some Monday morning deliveries for me. I’ll be by your side.”

  “I would love that,” Taryn said. She kissed Alex once more. “I think I could really use you for support.”

  “Then I’m there,” Alex said. She smiled happily, and she pushed a tendril of hair away from Taryn’s face.

  “You’re amazing,” said Taryn. “I’ve never met anybody quite like you. And never would I have believed I’d get to be with someone like you. I feel so unworthy.”

  “Stop that negative talk,” said Alex. “You’re a wonderful person, sweet and thoughtful and kind. You sometimes put up this front like you’re a boss, but I see that goofy, fun little girl who wants to come out. Every time you get a little embarrassed, I see it. It’s like the inner you is fighting with this facade you’ve built. But I’m telling you… let her out. She’s beautiful.”

  Taryn felt like she was about to cry. Instead, though, she wrapped her arms tightly around Alex and embraced her. Alex’s kindness, the kindness of all the others here at Verdant Bloom Farms, it was unlike anything Taryn had experienced. These people were authentically good, and that was what Taryn wanted to be. Alex made her realize this, and not just that, but also that Taryn was authentically good. When Taryn was with Alex, she felt like she was being her best self. And that felt like real, lasting love.

  “Thank you,” Taryn said with another kiss. “Thank you for being so sweet.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  They kissed and they cuddled into one another, idly loving this moment through the lazy summer afternoon.

  Three

  Taryn and Alex returned to Taryn’s home in Ann Arbor, and both the size of it and the fanciness of it put Alex in awe. It was a bit embarrassing to Taryn to show Alex how she lived, especially after knowing how simply Alex herself lived, but Alex assured her that she didn’t judge. The house felt like a component of who Taryn once was, not who she was becoming. And, according to Alex, it was important to recognize that.

  The women spent the weekend mostly in bed. Taryn’s bedroom was large and nicely designed, walls painted a light grey with crown molding at the ceiling. She had a king-sized four post bed, with both a headboard and a footboard. A dresser with a large mirror was against the wall opposite the bed, along with a loveseat near the double windows. And there were two doors inside the bedroom, one leading to Taryn’s walk-in closet, and the other to her en suite bathroom.

  The sheets were askew as they lay together in bed, naked and glistening lightly with sweat. Alex shifted up, and she reached over to the night stand to grab a glass of water. She gulped, she sighed, and she replaced the glass from where she got it. Tumbling back down against Taryn, the ladies smiled adoringly at one another and cuddled.

  “That was good,” cooed Alex. “I’m still buzzing from it.” Reaching between her legs, Alex rubbed herself and felt the dampness of her pleasured flesh.

  “You drive me wild,” said Taryn, kissing Alex on the side of the head. “When I’m in the heat of it, I feel like an animal. I just want you so bad.” Alex smiled, and she pushed some of her dark hair out of her face.

  “As long as I’m keeping your mind off of work,” she said. “That’s my goal right now.” Alex now rested her hand on Taryn’s thigh and lovingly fondled her pubic hair.

  “Well, now you’ve just reminded me that I’m going into the office tomorrow,” teased Taryn. “So I guess you have failed your goal.” Alex laughed.

  “I’m sorry!” Alex protested. “I didn’t mean to.”

  “It’s all right,” said Taryn. “I’m just teasing. It’s only not in the back of my mind when you’re going down on me and making me come. Sundays are usually bad when it comes to that lingering dread of going to work the next day. But today, after spending a month and a half on the farm with you, this is like the ultimate Sunday.”

  “I’m sorry, babe,” said Alex with empathy, still caressing Taryn’s fur. “I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

  “You’ve given me so much,” said Taryn. “You don’t have to worry about anything.”

  “So what do you think you’re going to do?” asked Alex softly.

  “I don’t know,” Taryn said. “I’m still so torn. I know we talked about how I feel set. Like I know that I’m okay and I can back away from the stress of this job. But old habits die hard, and there’s still this voice inside of me spreading fear. It’s hard to break free, you know?”

  “I know,” Alex comforted.

  “When did you make the decision to change your life?” said Taryn. “What was the point of no return, you know? How did you take this leap and not look back?”

  “When I was working in advertising and hating it,” Alex began. “I was still pushing through it all because it paid the bills, I had some friends working there, it was a career that people understood and mostly respected. But I was just meeting some scummy people. My boss, who I thought was an all right woman in the beginning, she turned out to be a bit scummy, too.”

  “Scummy how?”

  “You know, they just cared about making the most money from clients above all else,” said Alex. “Rather than do the best thing for the clients, they would optimize for what made the firm the most money. They’d have us inflate our billable hours, so the clients would get charged
more. Don’t get me wrong, I met some scummy clients, too. But I still thought it was messed up to overcharge these people for nothing.”

  “Hmm,” mused Taryn. “I understand that. At my job, we charge clients a percentage fee based on their total investment, along with additional expense ratio fees and service fees. It’s all outlined in the contract, so they should hopefully understand it. But some individual, big money investors might not understand everything they’re getting into, and then we have to explain to them why they’re getting charged so much. We’re straight about it, but some of our language is disingenuous.”

  “Well, for me,” Alex continued. “I just hated knowing how the sausage was made. It just seemed like most businesses I encountered had their scummy aspects, and I was over it. That’s what really pushed me to do my own thing, to take the leap and join up with the gang on the farm, and put my savings into this cooperative. You only live once, and I couldn’t keep living the way I was.”

  “Yeah,” agreed Taryn. “I think you’re right. I think the way I’ve been living has injured my soul. I used to be such a sweet girl, bright and positive and happy. I still had some problems with anxiety, but nothing like I’ve developed as an adult. I really need to change. I really need to start repairing the damage I’ve done to myself.”

  “So,” said Alex. “What are you thinking? Are you going to quit your job?”

  “That’s what I’m leaning toward,” admitted Taryn. “As frightening as that is to say, that’s really what I’m feeling inside.”

  “And what will you do next?” asked Alex.

  “That’s the most frightening part,” said Taryn. “I just don’t know.”

  “One step at a time,” Alex said. “You don’t have to know right now. You won’t be kicked out of your house, or go broke or anything like that. You have time to figure the hard parts out later. You just have to do what you think is best for yourself. Because if you don’t, you’re just going to be unhappy.”

  “What’s best for me is to be here in bed with you,” said Taryn with a smile, cuddling up against Alex and embracing her deeply. “This is what makes me happy.”

  “What about this?” Alex said with a flame dancing in her eye. She dropped her hand between Taryn’s legs and affectionately began to run her fingers up and down Taryn’s pussy lips, tenderly massaging her buoyant flesh as it slowly started to grow slippery.

  “That makes me happy, too,” said Taryn. She grinned and she kissed Alex deeply. They lay there against one another, locked in a passionate kiss, Alex’s hand caressing Taryn’s heat. Both women could feel their hearts start to race with the quickened return of desire.

  Soon, they had changed position, and Alex was perched between Taryn’s legs, lovingly licking and sucking on her clit. Alex penetrated Taryn with two fingers, easily slipping them in and out of Taryn’s gap. Taryn, meanwhile, had her arms wrapped around herself, squeezing onto her chest, bracing herself for the pleasure. She opened her eyes and she looked down the length of her body, and at the same time Alex looked up. They caught one another’s gaze. Taryn watched as Alex ate her out, her nose resting atop Taryn’s bush, Alex’s dark eyes aimed at her. Taryn grinned, and she felt Alex grin against her pussy. It felt so deeply intimate, Taryn’s arousal redoubled as she thought about how deeply she felt for Alex. It was profound. Taryn knew in that moment that there really was some inexplicable connection that she and Alex shared. It was undeniable.

  When Taryn came, she shuddered and shook, her hand gripping to a pillow as she writhed in the sheets. She felt vibrations tingle through her body, a sudden chill and numbness in her appendages, and an overall sense of relief as her orgasm slowly dissipated into comfortable relaxing peacefulness. When she opened her eyes and looked down to Alex again, Alex was this time focusing her own gaze on Taryn’s pussy. She stared adoringly into it, she delicately caressed it with a single finger, as though she were tracing the outline of all its curves and crevices. Alex’s eyes darted up, and she saw she had been caught. She smiled demurely, and then placed a tender kiss on Taryn’s lips.

  “It’s so beautiful,” said Alex. “I love your pussy.”

  “And what about the rest of me?”

  “I love all that, too,” Alex replied with a bashful grin. “I’m really happy that we found each other.”

  “I am, too,” said Taryn. “You’ve saved me.”

  “No,” said Alex. “You did it. You did the work.”

  “Come up here,” Taryn said.

  Alex complied, crawling up the length of Taryn’s body and dropping down into her in a hug. They kissed and held one another.

  “I think we were meant to be together,” murmured Taryn into Alex’s lips. “I think I love you.”

  “I feel the same way,” said Alex. They kissed once more. “This was kismet. I love you, too.”

  The two of them continued to kiss and nestle into each other, whispering their feelings back and forth in a happy and easy conspiracy of affection. This was meant to be. They could both feel it.

  Dressed in a grey wool pant suit, Taryn took a deep breath and pushed through the glass door that lead into her office. Even though it really hadn’t been that long since she had been to work, the office felt rather foreign to her. In the six weeks or so out at the farm, she had gotten acclimated to being outdoors, living in nature, being surrounded by fields of vegetables, flowers, all those chickens, and of course her new friends at Verdant Bloom Farms.

  In the lobby, Taryn saw a new but very familiar flower arrangement sitting in its usual place. She smiled to herself when she saw this, a sense of calm returning to her. That arrangement gave her an immediate and deep insight, a kind of esoteric knowledge of how it came to be. She knew where it had grown, and she knew that on this particular day it had been Astrid who delivered it, as Alex was probably still curled up in Taryn’s own bed. Stepping closer to the flowers, she reached out and touched one of them. It was a blue delphinium. She knew that if you put a little sugar in the water of the vase, the delphinium would last longer. It made her happy that she knew that.

  Moving past the lobby, back in the confines of her company’s modern office, underneath the glow of fluorescent lights, Taryn felt the anxiety and panic rear its ugly head inside of her once more. She took another breath, and she walked in the direction of her desk, walking past surprised eyes staring deep into her as though she didn’t belong. In all honesty, Taryn didn’t feel like she belonged either. She felt like a different woman, like she had moved on from whatever this part of her life had been.

  “Taryn,” said Ethan, spinning around in his chair as he watched her drop a bag onto her desk. “You’re here.”

  “Yeah,” said Taryn, looking to Ethan and smiling. “I am. How are you?”

  “I’m good,” said Ethan, his face awash in confusion as he looked at her, trying to figure her out. Huang was watching her, too, from his desk. But he didn’t say anything.

  “I know it’s weird that I’ve been gone so long,” admitted Taryn. “I hope it wasn’t too big of an annoyance for you two.”

  “It was,” Ethan admitted with a shrug. “It was pretty annoying.”

  “I’m sorry,” said Taryn. She jiggled her mouse and her computer screen came to life. Looking at the login prompt, Taryn had to think hard about what her password was. In her time away, it had escaped her. She smirked as it finally came to her, and she quickly typed it in to unlock her computer.

  “I’m actually surprised you weren’t fired,” said Ethan. “Jens is livid with you. I half thought they were working on firing you, but here you are.”

  “Here I am,” mused Taryn. “Were you hoping I’d be fired?”

  “You abandoned us,” Ethan replied. “Huang and I had to pick up your slack. That’s kind of bullshit, don’t you think?”

  “It is,” agreed Taryn. Her tone was mostly ambivalent, though. Still standing, she clicked into her computer and opened up her email client. The messages began flooding in. Thousands of unread e
mails. Taryn just shook her head and pushed her mouse away.

  “Well, I don’t know what happened to you,” said Ethan. “But I hope you’re fixed. And I hope you can repair the damage to your career.”

  “I don’t know,” said Taryn. “I’ll be back.” Without another word, Taryn turned from Ethan and her desk, and she made her way toward the bank of offices where she knew Jens would be. She focused on remaining calm, managing her anxiety, and doing what she knew she had to do.

  When she reached Jens’ office door, it was half closed. Taryn knocked, and she waited.

  “Come in,” said Jens with his accent. Taryn pushed the door open and entered. When Jens spun around in his chair and saw Taryn, his expression changed.

  “Good morning, Jens,” Taryn said.

  “Please sit,” he said, motioning toward the chair in front of his desk. Taryn obeyed. She sat, and she folded her hands. They were both silent for a moment, until Jens spoke up once again. “Do you have an explanation for yourself?”

  “Not really, no,” said Taryn. “I know I acted unprofessionally, but I needed the time off for my own health.”

  “Your colleagues out there are not pleased with your actions,” Jens said, pointing in the direction of the trade desks. “You let us down, Taryn.”

  “I accept that,” Taryn said evenly. In her head, she pictured Alex and she felt love emanating from this vision. It gave her strength.

  “We talked about firing you,” said Jens. “But you have your private stock and a small ownership stake in this company. It would be more difficult than simply tossing you out like any ordinary employee.”

  “That makes sense,” said Taryn. “I would certainly fire me.”

  “So what do you propose we do?” asked Jens, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands. “Many in this office feel it unfair that you did what you did. Others, they’re not interested in working with you any longer. If you were in my position, how would you treat an employee who disappeared and left their workload for others to sort out?”